Monday, July 27, 2009

Life and Work – the balance

There probably have been millions of posts on this topic. I am not writing this to preach something again here, but just quote a personal experience. I am 32 yrs old and a proud father of a boy, who is just about to turn two. I work at a technology company as an IT Manager, but wear more hats than the nice management title would lead you to assume.

Growing up in a middle-class family in India, I almost never met my father except on Sundays. That was his day off, spent most of the day getting things done around the house, and teaching us math and sciences. He always reinforced the need to studying well, getting a job and working hard in life. Well, to some extent we did study hard though could have done better, but we did spend most of our holidays solving math and science problems. Now at 32, I look back and recollect my childhood, this is all I remember. Emphasis on Studying well to get a job and settling down in life.

This concept has been so deeply engraved in my mind that I never actually dared do anything different in my life at all. I got a job the very moment I got qualified for one (at 18yrs). I worked hard at that one, switched after about 3 yrs to join a bigger, better org, and kept going until I landed at my current organization. And 13 yrs of doing this, I still am doing the same thing, I often tend to over-value the need for work, and under value my personal life. I am on call 24x7x365. I work harder and research better ways to keep our Infrastructure working, keeping the overhead costs to the absolute minimum. I often find myself sacrificing personal life, for work. I am aware of this all along like most of us, and put my life and family on the back-burner.

We buy all the toys and gizmos we can, and we think that an infant should have . But we often find, that he prefers our company to the fancy, expensive toys. Not only that, he is more excited to play with twigs, leaves, stones, pellets any other crazy object or running around in the lawn or at the park. He cares very little for the gizmos or fancy toys. Are we as adults trying to replace our Parent’s time with the insanely advertised gizmos, ‘cause we have gotten so rolled up in the constant grind of life, which mostly just sums down to work-eat-sleep routine, than anything else.

My son, who is almost two now, is very excited to see me come home from work, and immediately drops everything he is working on and comes running to me with his open arms, a feeling which most of you would agree is priceless. From then on, until he goes to bed, he demands that I be with him. He gets upset and cranky, if he sees me open my laptop and get back to work. He stares, yells, cries and uses any other weapon in his arsenal to get me to spend time with him. He somehow believes more rightly so, that it is his time to spend with Daddy. Any new toy, any other gizmo will not put him off me for long. And looking at him I realized I should be spending more time with my family. A lost moment with my son will never come back. His first laugh, His first steps, his first words, his first dance and more importantly his first hug, all these are priceless moments which won’t last forever.

We work hard to earn enough, to live happily with our family, but do not spend enough time with them, which will actually make us happy…!!! huh!!!! This is when it hit me, that just like the phrase “ eat to live, but not live to eat”, the concept aptly also fits “earn to live,but not live to earn”.